Alexander’s Birth
Parents: Dean and Xylina
Date of Birth: February 23, 2010
Baby Info: 7lbs 1oz | was 19.75 inches
Birthplace: Home
I awoke Tuesday February 23rd, 2010 with very mild contractions. When my husband, Dean, was ready to leave for work I was still having contractions. I asked if he could go late to see if my contractions continued. He decided to stay home so we could get some things organized for the birth and baby’s arrival, whether I was in true labor or not (Xavia, my 3-year-old, was born 13 days after my due date and we were not really expecting Alexander for another week).
Xavia got up and we ate breakfast. I started to get things organized, making the living room a peaceful environment in the aftermath of our two-and-a-half-year-old. Soon I called my back-up doula, Pamala, to let her know it seemed like I was in early labor. I also called our midwife, Margaret, to let her know.
Before long I realized I was really having trouble getting things organized. I couldn’t concentrate on anything I was doing and we were also trying to care for Xavia. Dean was busy helping but there was just too much to get done before I could concentrate on laboring. My mind was occupied with things to do and distracted by my contractions. So I called for help. I called Dean’s mom, Nina, to come help with Xavia and called Pam to see if she could help. They both arrived and we got things organized quickly. Before long Nina headed home and Dean took Xavia to her house on the way to pick up the tub from our midwife. Now that things were pretty much all set, I thought things would pick up but with Dean gone my contractions slowed even more. I tried to enjoy the little break and ate a sandwich while Pamala and I visited. I even said to Pamala “I bet my contractions will pick back up when Dean gets back”. Sure enough, about five minutes after he returned around 2:30pm my contractions came on harder and closer together than they had all day.
I labored with my arms around Dean, leaning over the kitchen counters, over the sofa arm, on the birth ball leaning on Dean. My midwife called and we decided to have her come by to quickly check on me and the baby’s heart rate. Before she arrived, I started to lose my mucous plug. When she arrived at about 3pm all checked out well and again my contractions increased and got closer together. She said I had definitely entered active labor and if I wanted to get in the tub that would be fine.
The tub was great! It made the contractions less intense and helped relax all my muscles. Dean remained by my side, encouraging me, always with a reassuring hand on my shoulder or back. After a while I needed to go to the bathroom and decided to have a few contractions while I was there. Then back in the tub. We snacked on granola and dried apricots. I made another trip to the bathroom where my contractions were even more intense. Dean and Pam helped me relax through them and concentrate on opening up. My thought was, if this is happening, let it happen. The more effective I could let each contraction be the sooner I would have my baby. I even chanted “Open, open, open” during those contractions. It helped a lot.
I was yawning again and remembered that the high levels of hormones can make you sleepy. I thought, maybe lying down for a few minutes might not be a bad idea. If I was going to be pushing out a baby, I may need the rest. So at about 7:00pm, Dean and I headed to bed to see if I could get a nap between contractions. The contractions in bed were the most challenging yet. The first one made me curl my toes and moan out loud. After that I concentrated on relaxing my whole body, especially my legs and feet. My low moaning helped get me through as did Dean next to me encouraging me and reminding me to keep my sounds low.
My midwife had been texting my doula to keep up with my progress. When she heard I went to bed she decided to come right over, even getting her husband’s help to get her supplies in the car right away. I was surprised to hear that she was on her way. We figured with me in bed just relaxing and resting without too much more going on that she wouldn’t want to come just yet. Good thing she thought differently.
She arrived after I had three intense contractions on one side and turned over for another four contractions. She checked the baby’s position and heart rate, finding the heart rate in my upper abdomen. There was also something soundly positioned in my pelvis, but it did not feel like a head. With this information and circumstances that had limited her experience with me and my baby’s positioning, she had suspicions that my baby may be breach. With her assistant, Marcile (who has experience delivering breach babies) on her way we decided to wait until she arrived. Marcile could do an exam and we could better know how to proceed. I asked to get back in the tub because the contractions were getting so intense.
Into the tub I went and a few minutes later Marcile arrived. While she was talking to Margaret and getting her caught up I had a few more contractions on my hands and knees stronger than all the rest. Then I felt my body pushing my baby out. I didn’t yet know if he was breach or not and it did alarm me. What would happen? How would I do it? I cried out “I’m pushing” and Margaret’s voice calmly told me “Let the baby fill your pelvis” This calmed me and reminded me that he was coming out whatever way he was positioned and I just needed to do whatever I could to help him. I envisioned being as open as I could be. The next contraction came with about the worst cramp in my hip I have ever had! There was no straightening out my leg for relief as my baby’s head was soundly in the way. Luckily, Margaret grabbed my leg and put my foot on the floor of the tub, so I was kneeling on one knee with my other foot on the floor, almost lunging. This helped so much! With the next contraction I exclaimed “There’s something there!” completely surprised that things were happening so soon. Margaret again calmly said “Well why don’t you reach down and see what it is?” I reached down and felt the bag of waters bulging out of me, filling my hand, about the size of a softball. “It’s the bag” I said. Margaret and Marcile checked and tried to see if they could feel the presenting part to know if it was a head or butt and could not be sure. In just a moment they were able to see hair floating in the amniotic fluid. Margaret said “Unless this baby has a really hairy butt, that’s a head!” I was so relieved. The pressure was amazing and I was ready to get him out and meet him. Margaret told me to push with my urges. I felt stretching and some stinging and Marcile helped to ease his head out with my pushing. Once his head was out there was no stopping him. The rest of his body came sliding out in the sack without even rotating his shoulders. He swam right out of his sack and was scooped up by Margaret and Marcile only to find that he was tethered to me with a very short cord. I was asking “Where is he, where is he!?!” and they quickly repositioned me to sitting, passing Baby Alexander under my leg. I finally had my baby boy in my arms. I had to hold him low on my abdomen due to his short cord and could hardly see his face. After checking him we were both lifted out of the tub onto the loveseat.
Alexander was covered on my chest in warm blankets from the oven after Dean cut his cord. I was finally able to get a good look at his sweet face. Born at 8:40pm after 5 minutes of pushing, Alexander Lee Weaver weighed 7lbs 1oz and was 19 ¾ inches. The placenta was delivered 3 minutes later (we could see the yolk sack from early pregnancy imbedded in the wall of the placenta, very rare). Alexander greeted the world with a loud cry, letting us know that he too was surprised by his quick arrival. He scored a 10 on both his one and five minute APGAR. After I was taken care of and all cleaned up Dean went to pick up Xavia while I got set up in bed with baby Alexander. Big sister Xavia arrived and proclaimed to the midwives “He’s so cute!” Soon all four members of the New Weaver Family were snuggled in bed together sharing a snack of apples and peanut butter. What a joyous birth and what a great way to welcome the littlest Weaver!
My experience in birthing both my babies was really the best it could be. Not without drama and changes in plans but empowering in more ways than I could have imagined. One of the most empowering parts of each of my births was the strength I was able to find when faced with challenges late in each pregnancy. This has confirmed to me that I have good instincts and that I am always right in trusting my gut, my mother’s intuition. I know these lessons have served me well and will continue to as I make my way forward as a mother of two.
The things I really enjoyed about Alexander’s birth were not being checked to see what my progress was, but instead trusting that my body knew what it was doing. Also, it helped to have a better idea of what to expect and a welcoming attitude at the onset of each contraction. I was so pleased to have my labor be shorter and less exhausting this time. The pushing stage was such a total opposite from my experience with Xavia. With Xavia I pushed for over three hours and it was this long, drawn out, hard work, phase of labor. This time it all happened so fast. He came out in about three pushes and I really felt like I was holding on for dear life. It was odd to go from the composed, relaxed state I was in, even during the last contractions, to this overwhelming ejection. I do prefer fast and overwhelming to long and hard though. I feel very blessed to have been able to have a wonderful un-medicated hospital birth and an absolutely lovely homebirth!
