Theia’s Birth

Parents: Dennis and Durgai
Date of Birth: August 21, 2009
Baby Info: 9 lbs. 6 oz. | 22 inches
Birthplace: Home

You were born on a perfect summer’s day. It all started very early Friday morning around two, in the middle of a thunderstorm, the day after the new moon. I woke to the smell of sweet rain on the pavement and the thrill of thunder and lightning. When I went to go to the bathroom, I noticed that my water was leaking. I was very excited but knew I would have to get some sleep, so I climbed back in bed and whispered to your papa, “We’re going to have our baby today!”

All through the night I had weak, sporadic contractions that I was able to sleep through. When I woke in the morning I got up and made breakfast. Still, I wasn’t having any contractions that got me excited. Between seven and nine I only had two contractions that were strong enough to get my attention. I called Dana, our midwife, and told her today was the day and that she should stick around town. She lives two hours away, but had spent the night in Spokane.

Your Nana had flown in from San Diego the day before. She took Zephyr and Sylas out so that I could relax and get things going. Papa went to work for a few hours in the morning. I was very happy to be alone, in my clean house, sitting on the birth ball next to the open French doors leading out to the garden. I was having contractions every five to ten minutes and I would roll my hips around and around on the ball. Sadie bought me giant juicy peaches and I ate two of them right away.

Papa came home from work and we decided to go for a walk. We walked up Division and down around Manito Boulevard, the whole while remarking about what a beautiful day it was. The colors were so bright, everything was more beautiful than normal. It was surreal, I felt like I was walking through a painting. When I had a contraction we would stop and I would hang my arms around Papa’s neck and moan a little.

We came home and heated up some brown rice with black beans and potatoes for lunch. It was delicious. Papa decided that it was time to start filling up the birth pool. He still needed to clean it, so I suggested he call Tawni, our doula. I felt like I didn’t need a doula yet, but I thought Papa could use the help. It was somewhere around one in the afternoon. Tawni came over. I just wanted to be outside and walking. So I went out back and walked circles around the grass. When I had a contraction I would hang from the trapeze on the swing set and look up at the sky. It was a deep perfect shade of blue—not a cloud in sight. Every so often the wind would rustle the leaves over my head. I was practicing one of my pain-tolerance techniques where I was just noticing everything through my senses, not latching onto anything with my mind. So I would hang and say, “Blue sky, warm wind, green leaves moving.” This really seemed to help. And then I would be back to walking in circles. As the contractions got harder I would lean on the ball or a chair and Tawni would put as much pressure as she could on my lower back. In between she would give me sips of water to recharge and we would talk and joke a bit. I had another plate of rice and potatoes. I told her this was the fun part of labor, that I still had a long way to go because this was just way too easy and I was still having fun. The contractions weren’t on top of each other and they didn’t seem to be lasting longer than I could handle. I did notice that I really needed to moan deeply through them and Tawni had to be right there to apply pressure. And then during one contraction I noticed that it felt really good to bear down a bit and push the pain right down and through. I didn’t think much about it, just that I was happy that I had figured out a way to not have pain during my contractions. After three contractions like this, I thought, am I pushing?! I was in complete denial that I could be pushing. My memory of transition was that it was so incredibly hard that I just felt like I couldn’t do it anymore and I needed to be anywhere else than in labor. So far this labor had been pretty easy. I told Tawni and we decided to call Dana. I told Dana that I was thinking about pushing, but that I didn’t think I needed her yet and I would call her back in twenty minutes or so. My next contraction I really thought about pushing, so we called Dana back and I told her I was so confused—why was I thinking about pushing? I wasn’t even in labor land yet. Looking back I realize I was totally in labor land. Dana came right over. She asked if I wanted to get in the birth pool and I wasn’t sure. Walking felt so good and I didn’t want to slow things down. But I decided to try out the birth pool.

When I got into the pool it felt wonderful. The water supported me in a loving and relaxing way. I naturally got into a squat position and on my first contraction bore down with all my strength. After I said to Dana, I think I’m pushing. And she said, you think?! It felt so good to push, for the first half hour I bore down and growled through the contractions. Tawni continued to put pressure on my back. Nana came back with Zephyr and Sylas. It was so uplifting to see them. My sweet babies. They were very respectful of the mood. They gave me hugs and kisses and were in and out for the rest of the time.

The last hour of pushing was really hard. I was finally at that point. I felt like I just couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t want to do it anymore. I was getting discouraged. Why weren’t you rounding my pelvic bone quicker? There was only so much I could take, but Tawni and Dana kept encouraging me. They knew I could do it and I knew they were right. At least I knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Dana suggested I sit on the toilet. I knew it would intensify everything, and I knew I had to power through it. The only way to hold you was to dive right in. I sat on the toilet and my water broke. Wow, what a powerful blast. I got back in the tub and Dana showed me how to push more effectively. Now I could feel you coming down. I felt you round my pelvic bone and I didn’t care anymore how hard it was. You were so close. I was kneeling and pulling on Papa’s arms with all my strength. Every muscle in my body was pushing and I felt you crown. Dana told me to blow through the next contraction. I knew I had to so I wouldn’t tear, but I didn’t really care. I wanted to push so bad and I didn’t care if I tore. But I blew anyway. And then Dana asked Papa if he wanted to catch you. Tawni took his place and I pulled with all my strength on her arms. I felt your head come through. Wow, what an amazing feeling. I wanted you out so bad and I was almost there. I kept pushing, I wasn’t even sure if I was having contractions or not, I just needed to keep pushing. And then woosh, you were out. I turned around feeling astonished at what had just happened. Papa handed you to me. I looked over at Zephyr and Sylas and down at you. I couldn’t believe that you were here. I was holding you and you were perfect and covered in vernex and it was over. You didn’t even cry. I wasn’t sure if you were breathing, but Dana said that you were okay. It was 5:34 in the afternoon. At one point I looked down and saw your cord and thought for a split second that it was a penis. When I realized it was the cord I checked between your legs to make sure you really were a girl. And thank goodness, yes, you were a girl. We waited for a bit to see if the placenta would come out. But it didn’t. Dana decided I should sit on the toilet again. I was so weak and shaking, I didn’t think I had the strength to push the placenta out. Your cord stopped pulsing while I was on the toilet. Papa cut your cord, and then he got to hold you. I was helped into the bed where finally the placenta came out. What a relief. Now I could just lay down. I looked over at you and thought, how am I ever going to take care of a newborn like this? But you were my little girl, my Theia Sabine, and I was so happy laying there exhausted and powerful. Before Dana left we pulled out the birthday carrot cake I had baked for you earlier. We lit five candles, a light for each member of our family, and we welcomed you into our lives, although we had already welcomed you into our hearts.

Zephyr and Sylas’s Birth Stories
My first two children were born in the hospital in San Diego. My oldest son Zephyr was a C-section. I went to the hospital wanting a natural birth, having no idea about the politics and hospital policies that might stand in my way. My water broke and as I was instructed to do, I rushed off to the hospital. Before I had even started contractions I was stuck in bed, hooked up to an IV, monitor, and pitocin drip. By two centimeters I was begging for an epidural. After twenty four hours or labor and three and half hours of pushing I was rolled in for a c-section.

I was determined the birth of my second son, Sylas would be the natural birth that I had wanted. We hired a doula and I trusted my midwives. In order to forgo constant monitoring and any other intervention that I didn’t want, I had to meet with the head of obstetrics so that they could tell me all the risks I was taking by not just having a repeat c-section. The consent form for the VBAC was one page and one risk. A two percent chance that my uterus could rupture. The consent form for a repeat C-section was a full package of risks. I found this ironic. Once I was in labor and admitted to the hospital at 8 centimeters dilation, I was again greeted by many people who wanted me to sign forms I had already signed stating the risks I was taking. I had three different people come in and tell me I really needed to get an epidural or I was putting my baby’s life in danger. This was under the assumption by the staff that I would indeed be having a repeat c-section after all, and they wanted me numbed up for the anticipated event. I had to sign three different forms again saying that I didn’t want an epidural. Mind you this was in the throes of labor and I don’t know too many people that would be able to turn down an offer at such a time. Yet I knew that the reason I had a c-section before was because I wasn’t able to effectively push while I had an epidural. So again I pushed for three and half hours, but this time my baby boy came out naturally and I was triumphant over the hospital.

This is how I felt—triumphant over the hospital. This birth had been a fight, not the natural peaceful event I had dreamed about. By the time I was pregnant with my third child we had moved to Spokane. I had become a part of the wonderful natural parenting circle here and was inspired by all of my friend’s home births. I wanted to have a natural birth that was nothing more than the way nature intended. No fighting hospitals. Just being able to stay in the peaceful protected space of my home with caregivers who trusted my body’s abilities. We found out we were having a girl, and I wanted to give her the legacy of a beautiful birth.