Xavia’s Birth

Parents: Dean and Xylina
Date of Birth: May 30, 2007
Birthplace: Hospital

My labor started early Tuesday morning, May 29th, 2007. I timed my contractions to see if I was truly in labor. I had had some infrequent contractions Sunday (enough for my sister, Annah, to make the trip out to Spokane). I also had some contractions Monday while Annah and I were out and about, keeping busy, waiting for Xavia to decide to make her entrance into the world.

Sure enough, I was having regular contractions about 7 minutes apart, each contraction lasting about one minute for over an hour. I was excited that today would be the day I would finally get to meet our baby girl. At 8:00am I thought I’d see if I could get a bit more sleep before things really got going. But, of course, I couldn’t settle myself enough in the 6 to 8 minutes between contractions to get back to sleep. Dean was waking so I told him, “We’re going to have a baby today!” After that, neither of us could sleep, so we got up.

Annah and I watched My Fair Lady, a nice long movie while waiting for labor to progress. I called our doula, Julie, to let her know that I was having consistent contractions. I calmly breathed through each one.

I wondered what to do about an appointment with my Doctor and a Non Stress Test at 1pm. I didn’t want to drive the half hour to the Doctor’s and drive back all while having contractions. Or worse, get admitted in early labor and not be able to come home. I also worried all the travel would stall out my labor. That could lead to interventions including being induced on Thursday because I would be two weeks past my due date.

I called Julie to get her thoughts. I decided to cancel my appointment and reschedule for the next morning, even though I was sure I would be in the hospital some time that day. I ended up talking to the nurse. She told me I really would need to come in for my appointment and the NST. As the time approached I felt less and less like leaving the house, and decided to stay home.

I spoke to Julie about what else I could do to help things progress. She suggested I walk up and down the stairs outside our apartment. At 3pm I decide I needed her to come over. I wanted her to be there to help me feel secure and give me more ideas to help labor progress.

At 5:30pm we got a call from my doctor expressing concern about the missed appointment. I had Annah talk to him. After discussing concerns and how I was feeling, Dean and I decided to continue laboring at home. If things didn’t progress enough to go to the hospital that evening we would see the Doctor in the morning.

All of the drama due to my Doctor’s worries seemed to slow things down. At 8pm Julie decided to go home to have dinner and put her baby to bed. I was to have a shower and a nap. When I got out of the shower and lay in bed for a few minutes, all of a sudden my contractions were overwhelming. I said to Annah “I think I need to go to the hospital. I can’t do this!” Annah called Julie right away and Julie talked me through the next contraction. She helped me to see I needed to move to a better position. I told her I needed her and she said she would be right there.

Since Julie’s pep talk on the phone, I was able to focus with Dean’s help and the inspiration from my birth art. I labored through each contraction with little difficulty. Dean supported me while I looked over his shoulder at my birth art and Xavia’s ultrasound picture. His comfort and contact helped me stay grounded and feel safe. Within the hour, I decided it was time to go to the hospital.

At 9:30pm we packed everything up. Annah drove with Dean and I in the back. I started burping and couldn’t stop the entire trip to the hospital! It was so odd and definitely entertained us all. We arrived. Julie called to let them know we were coming. I was wheeled right up to the Maternity Ward directly into the room where we would remain until discharged. I quickly settled into my room, changing into a gown. Xavia’s and my vitals were great. I knew all along that my baby was doing well. When the nurse checked me I was dilated to 7cm, 8cm during contractions. What a good feeling to be that far along after all my hard work. I was so glad. Thanks to a talk with my doula, I think it would have been difficult, but I would have tried to be positive if I had only been 2cm. Especially with my team of support encouraging me.

My nurse was surprised I was so far along considering my demeanor. She commented that I was the most composed laboring woman she had ever seen. As labor continued she also said that out of over 5000 women she has worked with through labor, I was in the top 5. Annah told her that I was known to be a wimp in our family and she said, “No way!” After that I had Annah tell anyone who came in the room that I was known to be a wimp and they would all say, “No way!!! You’ll have to amend that now!!!” My spirits were high and I only complained when Julie made me labor on the toilet because my contractions became really intense. I did comment on how tired I was toward the end but I never asked for drugs or complained of pain.

The time passed quickly as I concentrated on each contraction. This was the key for me to having a successful labor. Staying in the moment kept any fear at bay and allowed for the necessary work to be done. I really only remember bits and pieces of my labor in the hospital. It became a blur of ritual involving drinks of water, icy wash cloths and a great deal of hand holding.

Some moments I do remember. My nurse being surprised that I didn’t seem to be affected by the contractions I was having while sitting at the end of the bed. I replied, joking; “Yeah, I don’t even feel the contractions anymore! That’s how awesome I am!” I declared myself a Goddess and a Rock Star after many hours of strenuous labor and exclamations from many of the nurses about the lack of medication. Honestly, I felt like I was a Goddess and a Rock Star because my experience so far exceeded my expectations. The only memorable contractions ended up being when I was tensing up (grabbing the bed rail, squeezing hands etc.) Once when I was kneeling on the bed with Dean’s hand in my left hand and Julie or Annah’s hand in my right while bearing down through many very difficult contractions. At one point I was laboring in bed on my side. I would grab the bed rail with both hands and shake the whole bed through the contraction. When I relaxed through them it wasn’t bad. They finally broke my water. I told them no the first time they mentioned it but after 5 hours I let them.

The first time I felt like pushing I was in the bathroom. I remember being startled by the intensity of the feeling. It really feels like you are out of control of your body. Julie, again, reassured me that the feeling was normal, not to fight my body but to let go and let Xavia come into the world. The ritual continued with me pushing in many positions with my support team all the while meeting my every need.

Finally the time came to deliver. My nurse called the on-call doctor. I began the serious work of pushing Xavia out. As each contraction started I pushed with all the strength I had. They told me to push for the whole contraction because I would run out of breath before I ran out of contraction. I asked them to remind me to keep pushing until my contraction was over. I even said I needed them to be my cheerleaders, so, they all chanted, “Go Xylina Go!!” I had been pushing for well over an hour when I started to feel frustrated. After one tough contraction my breath escaped me and I yelled “OUT!!!” in frustration. They gave me oxygen to help give me a bit more energy. I would take deep breaths of it between contractions along with my sip of water and my cold wash cloth. For the longest time everyone could see Xavia’s head. The doctor would even play with her hair between contractions. I also reached down and felt her warm scalp and hair; she was so close to being in my arms. Who knew it would be over three hours of pushing!!!

Finally I had the last contraction. Annah asked Dean if he was going to catch Xavia. Dean said, “I think I’ll leave it to the professionals.” But the doctor had read the birth plan and said “Get over here Dean. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.” Dean was the first person in the world to hold our baby girl. He placed her on my stomach. All the hours of labor melted away in the overwhelming sense of love I felt for my little girl.

The rest is a blur. I remember Xavia had quite a cone head from being in the birth canal for many hours, but that quickly went down. All the people in our room did what needed to be done and left us on our own to bond. I immediately put Xavia to my breast to nurse. I still couldn’t believe how beautiful she was.